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How to Tell If You’re Regulated While Traveling (Especially with Friends)
A dog walk taught me everything I needed to know about emotional pacing, friendship, and travel regulation.
Ashleigh Brown
May 28, 2025
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The Unexpected Mood Check
Some days I’m rushing: leash tugged a little tight, avoiding eye contact, everything feels like too much. Other days, I let them sniff. Pause. Breathe. That’s when I know—I’m regulated.
Funny enough, I realized I travel the same way I walk my dogs.
What Regulation Feels Like When Traveling
With the right person, you can slow down without explaining yourself. You skip a stop. Take a break. Nothing feels like a failure.
The Difference: Regulated vs Drained
Travel Scenario | Regulated | Drained |
|---|---|---|
Changing plans mid-day | Feels easy and mutual | You feel like you're “messing things up” |
Going into a new space | Shared curiosity | You’re trying to keep up—or shut down |
Taking a break or canceling | No pressure | Defensive, like you’re letting them down |
Being quiet while exploring | Comfortable silence | They’re always talking or filling the space |
Sensory moments (crowds, noise, textures) | Noticed and respected | Ignored or dismissed as “not a big deal” |
Signs You’re Traveling With the Right Person
“The right travel partner helps you feel more like yourself, not less.”
They don’t take it personally when you need a beat. They let the trip breathe. They don’t rush every second of the day.
They honor that your energy comes from feeling good in your body—not from doing the most.
If You're Not Sure...
Ask yourself:
Do I feel the need to constantly explain myself?
Can I move at my own pace without guilt?
Do I feel more exhausted than I should?
Is my body saying get me out of here—but I’m overriding it?
That might be your answer.
Final Thought: Trust What Your Body Tells You
Your nervous system knows before your brain catches up.
Whether it’s a dog walk or a travel day—how you move matters.
Bonus: Travel Compatibility Reflection Prompt
Want to know if your friend is a good travel match? Try this:
What’s their default pace?
How do they respond to change?
Do they see downtime as necessary—or wasted?
Can they respect different energy levels?
Check out this video dives deeper into group travel dynamics and how to advocate for your needs. It pairs perfectly with this article.
@citycalmguide It’s time they let us. This is exactly why I created City Calm Guide. A travel blog for neurodivergent adults who want to skip the chaos ... See more
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